teenagebitchcraft

P.S. Iron Man 3 is the best film ever

voltorbo:

first i get absolute consent. then i fuck yo bitch

osjecam:

sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

sorry:

The only advantage of exercising every day is that you die slightly healthier.

constantbullshitting:

oilauren:

"I looked at my hand and my little finger was gone – the bone was sticking out. It’s the weirdest feeling; one second you’re fine and your little finger is there, and the next second it’s gone. It shoves reality up your backside. I was in so much pain and shock that the first thing that hit my head was the beat and the bass. The bass was hard, so I just ripped off my top, wrapped it around my finger and tied it up as tight as I could and skanked it out for half an hour. My mentality was, ‘I’ve only been here for an hour, I’ve paid £10 for this night, I’ve lost my little finger – am I seriously going to go? Nah, I’m going to skank until I can’t skank any more.’ After that, my mate dragged me down to the paramedics."
Friends later told him that a “bunch of stoners found [his] little finger and were playing catch with it.”

now THAT’S what i call a party

constantbullshitting:

oilauren:

"I looked at my hand and my little finger was gone – the bone was sticking out. It’s the weirdest feeling; one second you’re fine and your little finger is there, and the next second it’s gone. It shoves reality up your backside. I was in so much pain and shock that the first thing that hit my head was the beat and the bass. The bass was hard, so I just ripped off my top, wrapped it around my finger and tied it up as tight as I could and skanked it out for half an hour. My mentality was, ‘I’ve only been here for an hour, I’ve paid £10 for this night, I’ve lost my little finger – am I seriously going to go? Nah, I’m going to skank until I can’t skank any more.’ After that, my mate dragged me down to the paramedics."

Friends later told him that a “bunch of stoners found [his] little finger and were playing catch with it.”

now THAT’S what i call a party

dopeturtlem:

this girl injected with the truth serum 

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

thor-n-cap:

youarewortheverything:

serration:

constantly torn between “if it’s meant to be, it will be” and “if you want it, go get it”

seriously though. 

how about a mix of the two “if its meant to be, its up to me”

religiousmom:

im funnier online where I can’t stutter

  • me: i have no classes with anybody i know
  • my parents: that's how you make friends!!!
  • me: no
  • “Party In the U.S.S.R.” by Miley Czyrovanjkovich

    urulokid:

arelyhepburn:

This is the best gif you’ll ever see

guardians of the galaxy looks amazing

    urulokid:

    arelyhepburn:

    This is the best gif you’ll ever see

    guardians of the galaxy looks amazing

    hottea4hotties:

This will never not make me laugh

    hottea4hotties:

    This will never not make me laugh

    recoffthevine:

    I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING BUT IT WASN’T THAT